boring boring boring

Long time no post.

I've been up since 6:30 this morning. Too early. People talking puts me to sleep, even though I've had enough caffeine to keep an elephant awake.

Okay, I exaggerate. But the point it, this woman is boring. This subject is boring.

I have "Piano for Toddlers" later today. I sure am looking forward to that.

For whatever reason there is a lot of negativity coming out today. I think it's because I've been up so long and my jeans are still a little damp from being washed. Maybe I'm a little washed.

snow day!!

Well, not exactly. But it's a "no work" day thanks to sleeting, which is just as good. Here's to all the times in school that I prayed for snow and it never came (damn Texas weather).

end of the semester

So this is the time of the year when I stop bemoaning all the terribly ridiculous things the teachers in my classes have been doing for the past few months, and start thinking about how I'm going to miss the people that I find enjoyable in my classes. Unfortunately I'm not the kind of person who usually keeps in contact with people from classes, so any hopes of future "hang out" time are quickly stamped out by the realization that I don't have the time or the willingness that it takes to forge a new, true friendship.

I'm lazy.

Anyway, I'm starting to think about how much I'm going to miss everyone, even my teachers who completely suck, and even the kids that have annoyed me since day one, although I'm sure there are many people that I have annoyed as well. I just wanted to share all these feelings.

By the way, the new loft is going great, if anyone is wondering. And hopefully before the semester is over, my sister will start dating that cute guy in our art class.

a new place means...

New places to put everything, and in this case, not enough. Moving into a loft has taught me two things:

Number one, dogs should not sleep in the bed.

Number two, we have WAY too much stuff.

Ever since we've been here, I've been wondering where the hell we're going to put everything, and I've finally come to the conclusion that we should put everything in the trash. There are boxes and boxes of things that I haven't seen for two or three years, and I just can't see how keeping these things is justifiable. Obviously we don't need them, or we would have pulled them out by now. And just because we needed things at one point doesn't mean we need them anymore. Luckily we've found a home for our old bed and frame, but we still have many dishes and kitchen-isms to get rid of.

Let me know if you need anything, and maybe I have it. I think I'll be posting a list of give-away stuff soon. At the top of that list:

One (1) like new Black & Decker Toaster Oven - Free to a good home.

thanks

Maybe it's a lame copout, but I've decided not to go see my extended family for Thanksgiving this year. I think it will be the first time that I have been completely availible and haven't gone. I keep telling myself that I'm too busy to go, that I have exams the next week, that it's a long drive, so on...

But the truth is that I don't want to HAVE to think about Jason for an entire four days. I don't want to hear, "Jason should have been here" and "This wouldn't have happened if Jason was here"...Besides, Jason never really came to Thanksgiving anyways. So it would all be bullshit anyway. I think about that kid enough, I don't need to see people moping around about him.

And my moping is driving my girlfriend crazy.

caught him with his pants down

What kind of phrase is that, and why do I always hear country people saying it??

voting day!

Today's the day.

I'll be voting for the most qualified candidate, and I hope you do the same.

I'll also be meeting the toothfairy for lunch and Santa and I are scheduled to meet for drinks this evening, so wish me luck!

better day

Okay, yesterday was really hard. The days before were hard. The nights were hard. Being lonely was hard.

Being alone was hardest.

But today is better. I need to keep busy and keep my mind off it. I don't want to forget, but I'd like to be able to not cry for a little while. I'm going to join the SOS grief group here in Dallas, and I bought the book "Night Falls Fast", along with a few other choice books that have nothing to do with anything in particular. I'm not supposed to be buying books because we've packed them all up for the move, but books make me happy, so I couldn't stop myself.

I'm weird.

suicide

It's hard when the people we love leave us. It's hard when the people we love choose to leave us. It's hard to sit through a eulogy from someone that didn't know the people we love, and it's hard to look down and see that the people we love aren't there anymore.

Am I getting to that age where everyone is going to start dying? I don't want any more funerals, and I don't want any more crying. I don't want any more carnations, I don't want any more black uniforms, and I don't want any more holes in the ground surrounded by turf.

Dead twenty-four year olds feel like rubber and look like wax.

the rutherford institute

I checked my e-mail this morning and found something very interesting in a message from the Rutherford Institute. Apparently, on September 14 of this year, a seventh grade girl in Maryland was allegedly threatened with disciplinary action for reading her bible during lunch, which is considered student free time. According to school policy, and No Child Left Behind, students may read religious materials during at school only during their free time, such as before and after school, lunch, or recess. So if it turns out that the vice principal did indeed tell this girl to stop reading her bible or suffer consequences, like the adoptive mother/biological grandmother's lawsuit against the school says, her rights were severely violated.

BUT...When I looked around on the web for more information on this matter, I surprisingly couldn't find any. At least not anything concrete. Every page I found that referenced this story was either a far right Christian site, or a blog. I found one story on Washington Post's website, which was the only page containing factual information. The rest of the sites talked about what an atrocity it is that kids can't even read their bibles anymore, and some even made claims that the Boston Public school system would rather have the girl reading "Lesbian Fisting for Six Year Olds" and "I Have Two Mommies".

I can understand frustration over something like this, but how do you justify attacking lesbians to retaliate against some ignorant vice principal? If you want to attack someone, attack the school system that hires prejudiced people, or attack the atheists that pull your children away from god, or whatever, but leave gays and Jews and Muslims out of it.

This country is getting dumber by the minute.

time crunch over

Nothing like sitting around the morning after a test drinking coffee and contemplating the meaning of life. Only at this point it's not really morning anymore, and I should be contemplating the meaning of packing instead. We're moving to South Dallas at the end of this month, and I can't wait. I guess we're just not large apartment complex people...I'm not even sure we're "apartment" people. It took us almost a year to finally meet one of our neighbors, primarily because you don't make friends here unless you have a dog (sorry Hay), but it's also been difficult to meet people considering most of our neighbors move out after six months. That should have told us to get the hell out of here sooner, but I plead temporary insanity for the year long lease extension.

I'm dealing with a client right now that is incapable of communicating through e-mail, and it is driving me up the wall. I understand wanting to meet sometimes and speak over the phone, but this man literally refuses to e-mail me back when I send him e-mails, ironic since he's constantly telling me, "Okay, I'll e-mail you that." Yeah right. This will be my first experience building a web site for a...church? I suppose he's not exactly a church, but he running some sort of worship center, and I am not exactly sure what to call him or his organization. GITA: Just Pray. The GITA stands for "God Is The Answer". At the end of every phone call or voice message (but not e-mail since he has yet to actually follow through with that), I hear, "Don't forget, god is the answer, just pray."

This could definitely be a sign of more blogs to come.

am i the only one?

Who finds it weird that teenagers today are completely enthralled by the new "old school" 80's pop sound that's taking over the airwaves?

I just downloaded the entire soundtrack from " John Tucker Must Die" so that I could hear Ben Lee's rendention of "Float On" whenever I wanted to. And guess what. It sucks. The soundtrack, that is. Maybe I just need to let it play for a few rounds and then make up my mind as to whether or not I can stand it.

We bought a Mac mini the other day, along with a 20" screen from Dell. Good match, if I do say so myself. But unfortunately I can't take the credit for this purchase, because it was all Amy's idea, but good call Amy. We have yet to use the Mac for anything that could actually be considered productive, but it sure it pretty.

And I'm starting to like Macs more that PCs...uh oh.

oh what a beautiful morning

Today, my friends, everything is going my way. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, I found twenty dollars in a parking lot, the Container Store has archival boxes, and my camera is arriving tomorrow, on time. In fact, it's already in Dallas, which might mean that it will arrive today, but either way it makes no difference to me.

Life is good today. This weekend will be filled with wedding pictures and complimentary adult beverages, and next week I get a three day vacation, which should be spectacular. All is right in my bubble. Anything outside of the bubble cannot be talked about today. I'm not turning on NPR, I won't be watching the news, and I most certainly am not visiting any blogs, for fear of learning that something has gone terribly wrong with my day. Nope, today is my day. I need just one.

death and dying

My uncle died on Tuesday morning. He found out about a month ago that he had lung cancer, went into the hospital last Friday, and died on Tuesday. This has all been very sudden. I guess I should say that he's not my "current" uncle, but one in a long string of husbands to my mom's sister. She and my (ex)uncle have been divorced for about two years now, but I grew up with Billy as my uncle, so I've continued to treat him as such, at least in conversation. I haven't actually seen Billy since just after their divorce becuase my aunt made it clear that she didn't want any of us seeing him anymore, despite the fact that her oldest son (from an earlier marriage) moved in with Billy after she moved out.

So Billy leaves behind an ex-wife, a would-be-fiance, a 22 year old step-son, and a 16 year old biological son, not to mention numerous nieces, nephews, cousins, and his own brothers and sisters. Chris, the 16 year old son, called me on Sunday to let me know that his dad was in the hospital, and we talked for a while about how everything would be okay, no matter the outcome, and I told him his dad loves him very much and that Billy was strong and so on and so forth...I'll be honest, I really thought Billy would pull through, at least for now. Maybe it's because my only information about his condition was coming from a 16 year old, or maybe there was too much wishful thinking involved, but either way, I didn't see this coming.

The funeral is tomorrow at two'o'clock in south Texas. I miss my uncle.

a day without who?

I understand that if ten million people in America took a day off of work on the same day, it would have an effect on the economy and more than likely the service industry, BUT that would happen if any group of people took the day off. If HRC sent me an e-mail saying "Next Monday we are asking that all gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people stay home from work to protest the Marriage Amendment", and if the GLBT community actually stayed home in large numbers and rallied in the streets, OF COURSE there would be an impact on daily life in America. Of course all those people make a huge difference in this country, of course if they all took a day off it would be an inconvenience for other people. But if all of these people were to quit their jobs, not just skip a day, those jobs would soon be filled with other people who were willing to not take a day off. I believe that this is why there were not "tens of millions" of people taking the day off yesterday, like some groups had predicted there would be. Because it was ridiculous. You're not making a point by skipping work to protest, you're just inconveniencing your employer and fellow workers for a day.

Besides, who stayed home from work yesterday? Not just undocumented immigrants, but also legal citizens in this country. How is that supposed to show us the impact that illegal immigrants have in this country? If you're trying to show the impact of illegal citizens in this country, don't show us what would happen if ALL Mexican immigrants weren't here.

When I move to Canada, I plan on doing it right, going through the process of becoming a legal citizen in that country. It may take longer, but at least when I get there I won't be in danger of being kicked out. At least not for being there illegally. Other illegal things I may be doing once I arrive in Canada, I cannot take responsibility for.

I have so much more to say about this, but not enough time to type. So there you go, there are my thoughts, in brief. And, in case you're wondering, I still find Bush to be wanting.

i love my lady friend

That's really all I have to say.

unless you're a colombian drug dealer

Am I the only one who realizes that once you've decided on a career choice and landed a job paying more than 7.50 an hour, you should definitely NOT be selling drugs to your fellow employees, and especially not to your boss? Even if there's no chance, in your mind, of him getting fired. Because if something happens and he does get fired, who's to say he's not going to take you down with him?? This all just seems like common sense to me, and yet to so many other people I know, it's the silliest theory ever. You know what, I hope that people like that don't get burned, but when they do get burned (and eventually they will), hopefully it will be the last time they sell drugs to their blatantly unstable bosses.

A small time dealer, call him a middle man, is still a dealer.

Of late, I am being frequently reminded that the words I am saying are not being taken in the ways I had intended. I am, of course, concerned that by not always thinking before I speak, I am offending people unintentionally, however I am also beginning to think that certain people are hearing what they want to hear and filling in the rest. How is it possible to always communicate exactly what I'm meaning when all I have to use is language? It's almost unfair. Especially when the people that are listening can be so daft and self-righteous. Some might say this argument is yet another grand example of me being an asshole, but I don't always have to do things to make other people happy, and I don't always need to explain everything about myself.

I'm also getting some sort of weird throat/ear infection (that's my own med school background diagnosis), which I'm sure I should have checked out by a certified doctor, but unless I start running a fever or lose my hearing, I'll be self medicating at home. With my dog. Who is freaking adorable!

worth more than happiness

Amy and I were talking last night about what life was like before the war in Iraq, about where we were September 11, 2001, about what it's all about...And I realized that I can't really remember what it's like to not be at war. I remember the day we went to war, I remember all the arguments I had in the weeks to follow with my friends who thought that invading Iraq was the thing to do. And I remember saying, it doesn't matter if they take out Saddam, because as soon as they do, someone else will step up and fight back. So here we are, three years after we began the war in Iraq, almost five years after we were attacked, and we are still fighting (though no one can really remember why), and we are still looking (though everyone has forgotten for whom). America sucks right now. Where is our political movement? Who's shouting "The whole world is watching"? No one, because we all have our eyes glued to our televisions, our fingers stuck to our cell phones, and our heads up our asses. I want to burn my tv in my yard, but I'd probably be arrested by Clear Channel for copyright infringement.

the reasons why i like to keep to myself

it is practically unbearable for me to be in a social setting with someone that has not the slightest idea what's going on in the world. how can you not know what bush is saying about the war going on past his presidency, how can you not care that six kids were killed in seattle?? i'll tell you how...you're too wrapped up in your own ridiculous, melodramatic bullshit. how difficult is it to turn on a news channel or pick up a paper or type "cnn.com"?? if you haven't heard however, some guy went on a shooting rampage at a party this morning in seattle. apparently the guy met some of the kids at the party at a rave earlier in the night, and after spending some time at the after-party house party, he walked out to his truck and returned to the party with a handgun and a shotgun. and then he started shooting. one of the kids at the house told the press that this was like columbine in washington, but i think it's completely different. the shooter in this case was in his late 20's, and the kids he was shooting at were in the early teens to early 20's. this guy could not have had a real reason to kill all these kids...i don't know man, it's just all so screwed up. i woke up at 7 this morning and checked the news, and i haven't been able to stop thinking about this since. our world is so screwed up now...and we're stuck here.

in other news, i stepped in dog pee this morning. in my new freaking pajama pants. and, i stepped in dog pee. that's really the main thing i'm trying to emphasize. that movie "bring it on" just came on tv...probably not the most intellectual movie every put out, but then again it's about cheerleading. i know that it takes a lot of practice and skills to be a cheerleader, but i also know it doesn't take much going on upstairs.