better day

Okay, yesterday was really hard. The days before were hard. The nights were hard. Being lonely was hard.

Being alone was hardest.

But today is better. I need to keep busy and keep my mind off it. I don't want to forget, but I'd like to be able to not cry for a little while. I'm going to join the SOS grief group here in Dallas, and I bought the book "Night Falls Fast", along with a few other choice books that have nothing to do with anything in particular. I'm not supposed to be buying books because we've packed them all up for the move, but books make me happy, so I couldn't stop myself.

I'm weird.

suicide

It's hard when the people we love leave us. It's hard when the people we love choose to leave us. It's hard to sit through a eulogy from someone that didn't know the people we love, and it's hard to look down and see that the people we love aren't there anymore.

Am I getting to that age where everyone is going to start dying? I don't want any more funerals, and I don't want any more crying. I don't want any more carnations, I don't want any more black uniforms, and I don't want any more holes in the ground surrounded by turf.

Dead twenty-four year olds feel like rubber and look like wax.

the rutherford institute

I checked my e-mail this morning and found something very interesting in a message from the Rutherford Institute. Apparently, on September 14 of this year, a seventh grade girl in Maryland was allegedly threatened with disciplinary action for reading her bible during lunch, which is considered student free time. According to school policy, and No Child Left Behind, students may read religious materials during at school only during their free time, such as before and after school, lunch, or recess. So if it turns out that the vice principal did indeed tell this girl to stop reading her bible or suffer consequences, like the adoptive mother/biological grandmother's lawsuit against the school says, her rights were severely violated.

BUT...When I looked around on the web for more information on this matter, I surprisingly couldn't find any. At least not anything concrete. Every page I found that referenced this story was either a far right Christian site, or a blog. I found one story on Washington Post's website, which was the only page containing factual information. The rest of the sites talked about what an atrocity it is that kids can't even read their bibles anymore, and some even made claims that the Boston Public school system would rather have the girl reading "Lesbian Fisting for Six Year Olds" and "I Have Two Mommies".

I can understand frustration over something like this, but how do you justify attacking lesbians to retaliate against some ignorant vice principal? If you want to attack someone, attack the school system that hires prejudiced people, or attack the atheists that pull your children away from god, or whatever, but leave gays and Jews and Muslims out of it.

This country is getting dumber by the minute.

time crunch over

Nothing like sitting around the morning after a test drinking coffee and contemplating the meaning of life. Only at this point it's not really morning anymore, and I should be contemplating the meaning of packing instead. We're moving to South Dallas at the end of this month, and I can't wait. I guess we're just not large apartment complex people...I'm not even sure we're "apartment" people. It took us almost a year to finally meet one of our neighbors, primarily because you don't make friends here unless you have a dog (sorry Hay), but it's also been difficult to meet people considering most of our neighbors move out after six months. That should have told us to get the hell out of here sooner, but I plead temporary insanity for the year long lease extension.

I'm dealing with a client right now that is incapable of communicating through e-mail, and it is driving me up the wall. I understand wanting to meet sometimes and speak over the phone, but this man literally refuses to e-mail me back when I send him e-mails, ironic since he's constantly telling me, "Okay, I'll e-mail you that." Yeah right. This will be my first experience building a web site for a...church? I suppose he's not exactly a church, but he running some sort of worship center, and I am not exactly sure what to call him or his organization. GITA: Just Pray. The GITA stands for "God Is The Answer". At the end of every phone call or voice message (but not e-mail since he has yet to actually follow through with that), I hear, "Don't forget, god is the answer, just pray."

This could definitely be a sign of more blogs to come.